Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sense of humor required, not optional

So...I'm looking for a job.
Ideally: in my field (writing).
Realistically: any job.
Because, my son's education needs are looming on the horizon,
and then there all those increased medical insurance out of pocket costs,
and gas prices.
Gosh, I sound like the evening news, don't I?
Anyway, have you looked for a job lately?
Oh my goodness -- it is not for the weak of heart.
And one thing you had better be sure to have in your bag of tricks is a sense of humor.
Me, demonstrating my sense of humor
So, here is the actual text of an ad I saw yesterday:

Brainy, fast, over-qualified entry-level office admin

We are a small, booming Consulting company, 5 years old with 52 consultants and 4 back office people.
You are brainy, fast, calm, focused.
You graduated from a terrific college.
You are professional in your appearance and your conduct.
We have one full time person handling our Finance, Operations and HR, and one full time person handling our recruiting.
You will be supporting our recruiting function 3/4 of the time, and the Fin-Ops-HR function 1/4 of the time.
We will train you on everything you need to know.
You need to be *very* adept at Microsoft Office, and very comfortable with online technologies. We'll teach you our specific tools and processes.
You need people skills and phone skills.
You need to be the most organized person in the room, the tidiest, the least forgetful.

Start date is ASAP. But we are not going to hire the first ordinary person who fits our requirements. We intend to find someone who will grow with our company, so we keep looking until we find someone special who is over-qualified for this position. This is how we hire. We recently lost another entry-level hire because she decided to get her MBA from Stanford. That's what we're talking about!

Your cover letter needs to capture our imagination, and needs to convey the characteristics we describe above.
And just to test if you're paying attention, please include the word "blue" in the document title of your resume.

So, the thing is, I saved the ad thinking it was rather creatively written, and, because I have tons of HR experience, kind of up my alley.
And then later I opened it again, thinking I might go ahead and apply.
But then...
I imagined myself meeting the person who wrote it...
and all I could see was me smacking him/her.  Or, wanting to.
I guess I have a long way to go.

14 comments :

Creative Wings Boutique said...

Rotfl.... i told my hubby he should look for a new job since he hates his but then told showed me the 150 applications for a job he just posted for his company... good luck laurie....

autena said...

Oh, geez, I'm with you on wanting to smack that smarty-pants! I also wish you good luck:)

pam said...

I don't know, that smarty pants might be looking for someone creative like you! I'd send them a collage of organizational type things, file drawers,etc. and have my resume hidden inside a pocket. You might be that out of the box person they are looking for. A friend of mine got into UVA because his application was written in poem form and was sort of a fantasy of where he'd been and what he wanted to be when he "grew up"! They specifically told him that impressed them. Otherwise they'll have a good laugh and I'm way off the mark, but from that type of ad - I think they'd appreciate it. You NEVER know! You can always Quit creatively if you don't like it ;) Good Luck!

Gill said...

My daughter graduated last year and has only just started her first job!

Linda said...

Good laugh! and maybe keep reading the ads. But some jobs are worse than not finding a job.

Kathy said...

Well, I lost out on "be the least forgetful person in the room". Fail.
The thing that irks me about these kinds of things right now is it seems like employers are using the recession as an excuse to hire well-educated, over qualified people for cheap money. Oops! I didn't mean to get started!

Linda Sue said...

When I moved to the PNW there were zero jobs- ZERO! I have since invented my own jobs with some measure of success. You can do the same- you are smarter and more inventive and better at stuff- find what people desire (not need) something that is addictive- ( soap, coffee, special fig bars) whatever people are willing to buy often and for special gifts. Market it in great packaging. Invest a couple thousand in learning your specialty, set it up and go for it.
I bought a repo Kenmore sewing machine, taught myself how to sew, opened a small boutique- success! You are ahead of the game with your talents and "stuff"... Make goodies packaged cleverly- Laurie's Lollies- whatever- Ben will get a scholarship- you will be fine.

Dee in N.H. said...

LOL! They certainly are full of themselves, aren't they? Jeeze! It's crazy out there though. I always dread when we put an ad in the paper and have 100's of applications for entry level jobs, so maybe they are on to something here. The company I'm with now (18 years!) is fading out so I'm probably going to be looking in the next year or so and I'm just dreading it!

The Junque Seeker said...

You made me laugh so loud! This is what's expected from most "assistants" but I've never seen it stated so blatantly, and annoyingly. You're wonderful and you will find (or create, as Linda Sue says) something that works for you.

Beth Leintz said...

I'm with you- pass on that job- no one is going to be able to fill such lofty expectations and I'm guessing that whoever wrote the ad is a pompous mule.

Good luck with the job hunt- its a job in itself, but I know you'll find something- donwithout running off to Stanford to get your MBA

Hope said...

Hi Laurie~
Job hunting.....oh wow how scary! I'm with Terri & Linda Sue I think you need to put your creative cap on and 'create' something! You a brilliantly talented...& keep up the job hunt....but I suspect Ben will earn oodles of scholarship $$$$ he seems like such a bright kid!!! Have him get ACT flash cards....the helped Lindsey SO much!!!

LuLu Kellogg said...

Will be keeping fingers and toes crossed for you that you find the perfect thing!!!

Love,
LuLu~*xoxo

Wendy said...

I would love to walk in the maze and just walk around with my thoughts on a lazy day! As for the job, its a tough market out there right now. Hopefully you will find something soon!

Tamatha said...

Yup, I'm out too being the most unorganized person in the room! I'll have to show this to my husband. I don't think his company is as bold when placing ads for people! Good luck in your search!